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Do we all have a soulmate?

Updated: Dec 18, 2020

My heart says no - we have multiple partners who all have the ability to show us certain parts of our soul. Technically they are all soul-mates, but we will feel more drawn to certain ones than others, based upon a number of values - both conditioned and unconditioned. Depending on our perception of life, we will either be willing or unwilling to open up to these partners, and receive the downloads they are here to share with us.

photography by Maddy Barr-Hamilton


Take the science behind human design;

'We all have 9 centres within the body that are either defined or undefined. If a centre is defined it indicates a function or tendency that is fixed and consistent - these aspects are a constant part of you, part of your being you can always count on - energy that’s available to harness 24/7. If a centre is undefined it’s specific energy is not consistent, making this part of you malleable and flexible. This means you’re open to the influence of those who do have this centre defined. When in their company, you effectively adopt their energy and may be swayed or conditioned by it.' - Chetan Parkyn: Human Design 2009


This got me thinking; it makes complete sense that we are drawn to people who have defined centres, our intuition tells us that we want to learn from them, it’s why some people are quite literally magnetic to us. So could this idea of seeking a soulmate, actually be our desire to find someone who’s human design complements our own in mirror form, completing the parts of us that are open to impression? Could this be why some partners leave such a lasting impact on us, that we actually feel their ‘imprint on our soul’ long after they leave? Do we find comfort in finding those with defined centres, where ours are not? Is that where the concept of finding the other half of us comes from? Is this why in certain company you really do feel complete? And without them, you can be left feeling empty & heart-broken?


“We are all, in effect, human cells interacting within one giant energy vessel, The Universe, impacted by what is called a neutrino stream. Neutrinos are minute particles that travel near the speed of light, passing through everything. If we, as humans, live in an atmosphere of air, The Universe lives in an atmosphere of neutrinos. These are very emissions of all the stars in the sky, and our bodies are being bombarded by trillions of them every second of the day. Because neutrinos have mass, they exchange information with everything they pass through, including us. So, at the moment of birth, we are imprinted with neutrino information, which leaves a genetic thumbprint, determining the nature we will carry throughout life.” - Chetan Parkyn - Human Design 2009


If we take this theory and place it underneath the question “How much are you willing to learn about yourself?” it creates a further variable.

Some of us are looking for a love that will crack us wide open, one that feels uncomfortable as it draws out these new depths of our soul, and invites us to look more closely at ourselves. Perhaps our sense of belonging and being in this world, our purpose, our soul gifts, our unique truths, all light up under the influence of this love. We thrive being with a partner who questions our deepest fears, and encourages us to step forth into our power. These individuals are seeking a soulmate who activate the channels that don’t have life energy running through them on their own design. These people quite literally bring certain parts of your being to life. They feel like a breath of fresh air, or an awakening of something that was previously lying dormant.

Others will find this soul expansion far too overwhelming, particularly if life has created artificial blocks within their energy centres - mental, physical, or emotional pain can create resistance here - and our human reaction when fear is triggered, is to protect ourselves by staying closed. These people may want be with someone they already complement, without the need for too much personal development or soul searching. They don’t wan’t a partner who will challenge them per se - they prefer a love that doesn’t ask too many questions, but accepts them wholly as they are. These people would surely prefer someone who’s human design mirrors their own. One that won’t push them out of their comfort zone, but will enjoy living alongside theirs peacefully, and in bliss. Better still, they will feel the most safe if they have defined centres where their partners do not. They will feel valued and more in control of the relationship if there is a sense of being needed. Watch out for how this can spiral into codependency.

The combination of these two factors would explain why some people find it impossible to find someone that they connect with, whilst others find love immediately from one relationship to the next. Neither instance is wrong, this is merely my observations to explain why it’s harder for some, and easier for others;

  • If you have many defined centres, you might find yourself the dominant one in a relationship. This is a pro if you like to be the influencer, but you will find it a lot harder to find that person to challenge you back.

  • If you are highly impressionable because your centres are undefined, but you equally don’t want a relationship that challenges you, you are likely to bounce from person to person, enjoying the initial allure of someone new, but feeling threatened by any deeper intimacy thereafter.

  • If you find someone whose design complements yours, you may feel an instant familiarity and sense of completion, which is delicious for someone who wants that close connection and feeling of wholeness, but terrifying for someone who isn’t ready for a meaningful relationship or commitment.

You start to see why and how relationships become confusing? It suddenly makes sense how two people can meet, have amazing chemistry, but still want for different things. Our science is sometimes conflicted by our societal conditionings - and I believe that’s why working on your Self is the best way of getting back in tune with your unique destiny.

So I allude; it’s not about finding that one soul-mate who will make you whole. It’s about understanding who you are to begin with, what your true wants and needs are from a relationship, and making conscious choices that lead you to a partner who will both honour and uphold them. It’s all very well and good trying to push our intentions onto someone, or trying to make them feel what we feel. But the magic lies within the surrender. As soon as you are willing to let go of the idea you have of love, and stop trying to control the outcome - you will manifest the love you truly deserve. It’s quite literally written in the stars - you are magnets that will be drawn together if you simply trust in your being enough. Remove the blocks and open your heart - you will be generously rewarded when you do.

Written by Lucy Love @lulo_london

Photography by Maddy Barr-Hamilton @madazeene

ft Lucy Love @lulo_london

& Sam Stoddart @samosstudio


Human Design is a system where science meets spirituality. It draws from four ancient wisdom traditions - natal astrology | the chakra system | the I Ching | the Kabbalah - to create a ‘blueprint of your soul’ defining the person you were born to be.

It determines your exact placement in time and space, relative to the solar system and star fields around you at the precise moment of birth. Dividing the sky into 64 compartments that correlate to two things - 1. The 64 codons of the human genetic code & 2. The 64 hexagrams of the I Ching (a tool used by the Chinese to better understand human nature. Each of these 64 compartments have an individual meaning, guiding us deeper into the understanding of our own unique identity.

References and musings inspired by the work of Chetan Parkyn: Human Design - discover the person you were born to be. 2009.

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